You need to work on loving each other more, and everything will fall in place automatically. About. Who was having their shower first? Spending more time with his sister will help you understand their bond much better. It seems as though we can't do anything without him wanting her and her boyfriend to be there as well. Always remember to be your support system first. Join The Dr. Psych Mom secret Facebook group for more discussion about these kinds of issues! Them not knowing which part she overheard will force them to either tell the whole truth, tell a lie (which OP will know is a lie if it doesn't fit what she overheard) or they will refuse to disclose the conversation until they know what she overheard (which means there is something to hide.). Hes not treating me too well and he always cuts me off when I want to explain my side. Who was going in the front seat of the car? Plan it out meticulously, and he wont be able to help it but love you. Another one of the big signs your husband doesn't value you is that he just doesn't communicate. The problem isn't your job. he plans everything around her. Let no man come between and that includes his sister. Lots of parents lay their babies on their chests. He makes disrespectful comments to your face and behind your back. It made my stomach sink and when confronted, he admitted everything. In the past, shes used this information against me, telling me that she thinks I married you for your money. We are now officially adults and our relationship has improved since we no longer live with each other, but toagreewith them oneverything? I dont see how any of this would help. Wait to see if it continues. Jack was so supportive of Melinda and everything that she did. Bossip Comment Policy Yes, him resting his hand on her thigh for 20 minutes is strange. Does your boyfriend return all of thisumaffection? If your boyfriend is the one doing the flirting with his female friends, then he's probably doing it on purpose. Order Dr. Whitens books, 52 Emails to Transform Your Marriage and How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce: Healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Your Changing Family, and listen to The Dr. Psych Mom Show on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere else you listen to podcasts. Here are 4 ways his mom affects your marriage, for better or for worse: 1. Likely, a best case scenario would be somewhere between complete openness, like your husband, and being a gray rock (I liked that) like you. Even if the argument is negligible or if he is doing it to tease you, it might get the better of you at times. If you are concerned that your grandson will see something shocking, please know that he can find whatever he is curious about on his computer or cellphone. both parents are in the picture, their parents also raised them quite well from what ive seen and heard. He will understand and appreciate what you share with him. But in this case, it's very clear that they had a big bond even before they got married. One night we went to a concert and we came back to his place. The following traits are good signs that your husband may be a narcissist: 1. reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): A Youre going to have to pull it together emotionally and mentally. He will appreciate it and love you more. She is his rock, and his shelter. But Abby, she has two grown sons and a husband she recently decided to divorce. Im not Belzeebub, I am a pretty decent person who happens to have a serious mental illness. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. My sister n -law has a dog that she keeps in the house. Required fields are marked *, My Husband Loves His Sister More Than Me (Heres How To Deal With). YouTubes privacy policy is available here and YouTubes terms of service is available here. This blog is not intended as medical advice or diagnosis and should in no way replace consultation with a medical professional. My husband and sister in law on the other hand do. In such situations, its better to avoid arguments. Harriette Cole: I forgot about this favor, and I feel like such a loser. DEAR ABBY: I dont know how to handle this. However, what they don't realize is that if you delete all your calls and texts it looks very odd. By continuing to use this site, you agree to our updated Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. They run like a secret club , so mostly I had no clue what's up until the very last minute. Thus, they cling to one another in fear of losing one another. Real life isnt the Brady Bunch. She said that 'he wasn't for her' but didn't elaborate on the 'why'. Nope, nope, nope. Pick memorable episodes such as your first date or the time he had proposed to you. And yes, the answer is no.". Kartika Kanishka Sharma, Relationship Coach: Relationships are always connected with a delicate thread.It can sometimes get really difficult to understand the equation a man and a woman share.So you need to take your wife in confidence. You feel that your husband loves his sister more than you because he brings her up in every conversation. I tried really hard for 2 years to understand them, but I just don't get them. So here . Nidhi Behl Vats, Relationship expert & Founder of the story of souls: Every house has its own boundaries and level of openness amongst each other.You need to understand this. I know I shouldn't have but I hung back to see if I could hear anything. Chile, by the way they are acting he and her both need the side eye with the lips pursed and the stank look. And, look here, if he is choosing his sister over you, telling her all your business, inviting her on your date nights without your consent, and hes not willing to communicate with you, has stopped showing you affection and love, and he has told you that hes had enough and for you to leave, then, maam, its time to leave! The fact that a 14yr old is still doing this is weird as heck to me and your boyfriend should have put a stop to it at some point. Get confessions in your inbox. So, I got upset because I think I realized that he will never be the husband I need him to be because I feel he doesnt contribute to our marriage. My 'close sibling weirdness' threshold was then broken. I couldn't imagine them doing those things now that they're 13/14. Noel Hendrickson / Getty. Use of and/or registration on any portion of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement, Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement, and Your Privacy Choices and Rights (each updated 1/26/2023). This is when you step in and say, Look here, I know you both are special to one another, and yall are family and everything, but, err, uhm, this ish is going to cease with you telling them all of our business, and you cant show me any affection and love because they will get jealous. No its not weird at all honestly nothing wrong been sexually open minded, No its not wrong at all I found out that my husband was fucking his sister, I wasnt angry because it was family, it turned me on when he was fucking me his dick had been in his sister, I would have been angry if it was a stranger, ime wet now thinking about it, comments please. When I told my husband I thought it was a weird relationship, he yelled at me. She would always say ugly things about me and be sarcastic toward me. It doesnt mean the same in this particular case. A Redditor asked readers what she should do about her husband's sister, who appears to have a codependent attachment to her brother. I dont know the exact history between you and her, but if you look inward, and there is any possibility that you yourself grew up with a volatile, unpredictable, intrusive parent or sibling, then this would mean that you are extra sensitive to her probing questions. The narcissistic mother is trying to cure her problems within herself by hanging onto and expecting emotional things from her adult son. They would crawl into bed with me in the mornings when I'd come to visit. So, if you and your sibling need that much time together, then Ill make this easy for the both of you. He gets easily offended. Roommate got suspicious, asked about it, and he came clean. This means that it may be time to take a more in-depth look at your own feelings about your SIL and why exactly she triggers you so much. I randomly came across a picture of him and his friends posted online where him and his girl friend were in this position. !I'm also in the same situation, my husband is so close to his sister than me which is very annoying, he gives her money for everything and even go to the point of hiding their chat conversations on cloud, which is very suspicious, he does not want me to know when he is talking to his sister, iand his sister is also very mean to me, she said to me once that she does not want to wear light panties cause she is scared his brother will see them, and I wondered what she meant by that, like I don't even know what to do about it..it's Very disgusting, plz help?. Something isnt right with this relationship, and I agree that they are a little too close for comfort. Give him a surprise so he cannot ask you to bring his sister along. He said I told them when you got home they would have to put him up. And, unfortunately it has come at the detriment of your marriage. I backed out of the bedroom and walked back into the kitchen where Jack was cleaning up and I told him that Melinda was in his bed. Until she was 40, Melissa* thought she was an only child . However, if you are worried that either of you will be forced to view or participate in nude activities when you visit your son, all you have to say is, I think well stay at a nearby hotel, thank you.. If it does, then move on. Give him some time to realize his role better. This is only my opinion, based on my background, training, and experience as a therapist and person. male This is a really common thing that cheaters tend to do. We started chatting and I asked her if she was seeing anyone. Am I? Even when on vacation for work, he gets something from her while he might not always bring presents for you. No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Would do whatever Jack said. Terrance Dean. It's grossly inappropriate. But, nonetheless, you are his wife, and for him to push you away only shows his disregard, and disrespect of you. This might be so because your personal life involves him and you are directly related to him. Do I tell him not to talk to her anymore? Please help. Whose toys belonged to who? It sounds like you're looking for reasons to feel jealous of the sister when the real issue here is that your man doesn't want the same kind of relationship that you do. My sister in law is diagnosed with BPD. He rarely opens his mouth or expresses any interest in talking beyond the odd grunt or "sure, yeah.". She's helped individuals and couples for over 25 years and is an expert on relationships, codependency, and addiction. He may be able to take this thing from the right perspective.Always remember, not everything is as it is seen.There could be more truth to the sentence.Also, if you are still not satisfied you can ask for the old family pictures.You can observe how the family reacts to their bonding.Maybe this would actually be normal for them. or situations/content involving minors. So, by saying this you are not sounding offensive. Exactly this. There is nothing better than communication. male male Never had a difference of opinion to Jack. For them it was completely the norm to sleepsame bed sometimes directly next to each other. Im throwing up the deuces, and Im taking your a** for everything. If you downplay it, it will go away. I confronted Jack about this eventually but he was naturally quite defensive. In such cases, try to control your husbands finances. You are important too. The second is to join in the laughter, admit you dont dance like a gazelle few people do and let it go. An emotionally distant husband may often seem indifferent or indecisive about decisions: Vacation destinations. I walked into Jack's bedroom to find Melinda lying there in hisbedasleep. its gross in all honesty and im not sure how or why they dont see a problem with it, or have any shame in being like that in front of others. I'm worried about what they were saying but I'm scared to say I was eavesdropping. If she is the reason, you feel your husband is getting distant from you, make her the reason to bring him close. I don't know how to bring this up with my in-laws. It can be that of a friend, sibling, filial, or lover. Your email address will not be published. My siblings were there, their spouses, my parents, my nieces and nephews, and me and my husband. I was shown the tape later at a family gathering. What's scary here is that they are doing it slowly. Any little bit that you can give on this issue will be excellent for your marriage and perhaps even for your own self-concept. 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