"Well part of the problem is that you have autism so you sometimes engage in this or that behavior.". Thats the entire intention, really. Here are two classic examples: "This presentation turned out way better than your last one." "I could tell you didn't have a ton of time, but that project still looked good." Your intentions to offer a commendation are pure. Don't just listen, but actively listen to what the person is saying. Check Out: Rewire: Change Your Brain to Break Bad Habits, Overcome Addictions, Conquer Self-Destructive Behavior , $10, Amazon 1. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. If your boss says, I just dont understand how you couldnt get this done. 2. Katie must have known something like this was coming because she handled it and BCCd me on all her correspondence with HR and the executive team outlining her concerns about the CEO's and HR's behavior regarding the DNA results and that she believed someone was remotely accessing my work computer to delete things. Instead of compliment sandwiches, you could try a feedback method like the one Pixar has developed, which they call "plussing." The thing about condescension is, it can be overcome. 2. Trivializing. It is a frustrating experience that can happen in any number of ways, but most often at work or home with friends and family. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Then, when they make that error, theyre suddenly a perfect target for mockery and condescension. This means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under your breath and raising your voice. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. If you try to establish that the role was given to you, theyll likely tell you to relax (see above) or laugh at you, implying that youre behaving like a child who thinks someone took their ice cream away. There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Entrepreneur and its related marks are registered trademarks of Entrepreneur Media Inc. From calling people 'chief' to saying you 'actually' like someone's idea, here are some patronizing behaviors to avoid. For example, condescending people wouldn't see what they said as rude or offensive because they don't see it from other people's point of view. Many complaints about bullying involve what complainants label as condescending or demeaning behavior. She was tired of the condescending tone he took when he discussed her fitness routine. This sort of "sigh, shame-on-you" comment can be used in all kinds of situations but is almost always seen as a condescending remark. Lets say youre in a work environment and youre assigned to be the leader or manager for a particular project. 13 steps for handling condescending coworkers. Emmas response it pretty good. These Sisters Quit Their Jobs Mid-Pandemic to Risk It All for Their Brand. This article has been viewed 32,305 times. If the belittling behaviour continues, however, its best to seek advice from a supervisor or another HR professional. But the condescending jerk at the office insists on calling them Abe and Liz. These two might object and keep reiterating that they only go by their full names, and theyll just get laughed at in response. Focus on understanding the point that they are making, and take a few minutes to digest the information. Here are just a few examples. "Well you have autism so you don't know how to . It is very difficult to respond to patronising comments. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. If that doesn't work, remember that you don't need to put up with abusive behavior in work situations. Interruption/talking over another. If your boss sends you an email that says, I need this now not later this week it really could just be that theyre in a rush and just need something quickly. 2008 -2023 Lynne Eisaguirre | Privacy | Site Map Proudly Presented By: Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at: 3985 Wonderland Hill|Suite 106|Boulder, CO 80304, You may also call or write me to discuss your options at:303-216-1020 or, Newsletter Effective Online Training in Response to #metoo: Heres What You Need to Know, Newsletter Why You Need One-on-One Sensitivity Training AND Performance Management Training, What Leaders Can Learn About Retaliation From Andrew Cuomos Mistakes. It implies that the other person is being melodramatic or otherwise emotionally unstable, thus invalidating anything they have to say. Plus, those nicknames are almost always gender-exclusive; a male boss isn't going to call his female employee "chief" (and hopefully in 2022 he knows not to call any woman besides his wife "honey"). 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The thing is, you should have bought more interesting snacks. This means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under your breath and raising your voice. The Florida student-athlete who killed herself in November 2021 after receiving volleys of abuse from her track coach told police about his behavior a month before her death. We provide both training and coaching on the subjects of condescending and demeaning behavior. Examples of Condescending Behavior at Work Condescending people make us feel bad about ourselves with their tone of voice and patronizing attitude. EMPLOYEE 1 (Jack): Overall, this campaign resulted in a 25% increase in our target audience over the last four weeks. If you disagree with their lifestyle choices, it's usually best to mind your own business. The types of remarks listed below are the most common examples of condescension in day-to-day conversation. Chances are they haven't actually weighed the likelihood that you do or don't know what they're explaining-they just know that they know it, and that's enough reason for them to expound. Secondly, its a dominance thing. The important thing to remember is that respectful two-way conversations involve reading cues from the other person. I don't think it was right for Jack to spread false information. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/54\/Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/54\/Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-1.jpg\/aid12653730-v4-728px-Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":" \u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. So they take out their phone and start scrolling social media or texting someone and occasionally sighing to let everyone know how unbelievably bored they are with whats going on around them. By using our site, you agree to our. "When someone's speaking and you're not giving them your attention, that's condescending," Siani says. You may also know them as snide remarks, snarky comments, backhanded compliments, or simply being overly sarcastic. This behavior is often referred to as " mansplaining," but the occasional woman is guilty of it too. You're not saving lives here. This is often used by people who are quite wealthy and have had the privilege of attending the best schools, travelling around the world, and so on. Example: I don't think you have what it takes. People who go this route are often fiercely insecure, and they use their acquired knowledge base as a shield to hide behind, prop themselves up with, and injure others as needed. Leadership expert David Berkus has written that the technique is pulled from the improv comedy tradition, where the rule is never to say "No," but always, "Yes, and" At Pixar , practicing "plussing" means that when offering criticism, you do it in a direct way, but always follow with a constructive suggestion on how to remedy the issue. We'll be in your inbox every morning Monday-Saturday with all the days top business news, inspiring stories, best advice and exclusive reporting from Entrepreneur. In 2008, Rosenstein and O'Daniel conducted a survey of more than 4,500 nurses, physicians, and other healthcare professionals from 102 hospitals to assess the significance of disrespectful behavior and its impact on patient safety. People are entitled to their feelings and their reactions. You are giving them a positive way to view the situation while letting them know they are not above doing the tasks you ask of them. Keep in mind that it is a purely professional situation. [disapproval] The tone of the interview was unnecessarily patronizing . Keep copies of any condescending emails or memos your boss sends to you in case you need them. While it can be helpful to correct someone occasionally, the employee who is constantly correcting the pronunciation, grammar, and behavior of his colleagues is not needed in the workplace. Example: That's not such an impressive achievement. Be humble. What does condescending or patronising behaviour look like in the workplace? Everyone knows what it's like to be around someone who just doesn't make them feel great about themselves with their condescending tone of voice. Some perfect examples of this would be people who choose not to follow the same spiritual paths as older family members or those who decide on a career path that only garners disapproval. For women in particular, being told to "Take it easy" is peak patronizing. And Jack probably wouldn't be mad at me; I sense something is wrong in the last few days. 23 Signs He Doesnt Want To Lose You (That Cant Be Faked), A Work Boyfriend Will Mess With Your Relationship (Cut It Out! Smile and respond with something positive. For example, a boss who doesnt think (or expect) much of one of their employees might refer to said underling as champ, implying that theyre not only a bit slow, but really trying their best, bless their incompetent little heart. Condescending co-workers can wreak havoc and hurt productivity. It's important to be direct when talking about your employee's development and growth. By simply interrupting or talking over you, theyre trying to show that theyre more important than you and what they have to say has more value than whatever you were blathering on about. They are the comments that are laced with attitude and hidden meaning, typically at the expense of another individual. This response allows for the employee to explain themselves as well as allows them to rephrase any concerns they may have appropriately and respectfully. But it's also important to keep in mind that studies suggest that 75 to 90 percent of communication is nonverbal. Here are some examples of condescending statements: "Well, I know YOU think that, but in reality" "Wait, so you REALLY thought that [insert think you actually did think here]" Just focus on being positive and relaxed. Most condescending behaviors can be handled with direct professional communication. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. ), 9 Highly Effective Ways To Deal With Condescending People, Help! Frank Blaney is a Certified Qigong and Tai Chi Instructor with over 15 years of teaching experience. You can address bad office behavior by telling people when their actions are not OK with you. The definition of condescending is to demonstrate feelings of superiority over another person. It's up to you whether you want to apologize to Jack, but it sounds like an apology would help smooth things over with him. A condescending person might say something like, "Well, I would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong." 2 They may be trying to prove how smart they are. Related: 5 Horrible Traits That Push People Away. examples of condescending behavior at work. In most cases, the common minority group responses to prejudice include avoidance, deviance, defiance, and acceptance. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/27\/Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/27\/Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-2.jpg\/aid12653730-v4-728px-Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":" \u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. MANAGER: Could you've helped Jack in another way to give correct information? Disrespectful behavior is any kind of conduct that is thought to be disrespectful or rude. JANE: Maybe he didn't practice his presentation enough? So the chummy nicknames most people find condescending end up being pretty exclusionary, too. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. If you pat someone's head they will invariably be forced to look up at you-in confusion or possibly an attempt to displace your hand-and then you'll find yourself in the literal predicament of "looking down on them." Ive been purposely pacing out the information in the order I feel is most appropriate and important for your success. % of people told us that this article helped them. Here are some examples of their behavioral patterns. When You Assume You Know Everything There's absolutely nothing. LiquidPiston's patented thermodynamic cycle is making engineering history and they're taking investors while they do it. When coaching those accused of this behavior, we find that they frequently do not understand what we mean by those terms. JANE: Maybe. document.getElementById( "ak_js_3" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); document.getElementById( "ak_js_4" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions Its generally used as a means of dominance (of course), in which theyre asserting that theyre going to say or do whatever they please because theyre top dog in this situation. In communicating with a condescending person, try not . Each time they do so, they sound more and more ridiculous. Every workplace contains a wide variety of people who behave in different ways. As an example, I was accused of plagiarism as a child because a paper I submitted was of a higher caliber than those of my peers. This is particularly true for condescending people in positions of authority. Even if you're doing something objectively bad for you-say, smoking a cigarette-when someone says, "Come on, you know better than that," it's such a parental rebuke that you'll probably relapse into adolescent "don't tell me what to do" mode and smoke more cigarettes to spite them. 28 September 2021. https://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2012/07/03/how-to-deal-with-a-condescending-boss/?sh=8852f61523f3, https://hbr.org/2018/01/how-to-deal-with-a-passive-aggressive-boss, https://hbr.org/2014/12/the-right-way-to-bring-a-problem-to-your-boss, https://www.growthbusiness.co.uk/6-ways-counter-condescending-boss-2548689/, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understand-other-people/201802/dealing-difficult-boss, https://www.fastcompany.com/40411173/how-to-handle-your-bosss-condescension. Still, if you've been told you have a condescending streak, here are some eye-roll-worthy behaviors to discontinue. The company VP was horrified. Say you're having a debate over politics and someone says, "Come on, you know better than that." Ignoring the perpetrator is often the best approach. Other examples of condescending behavior include employees who oversimplify or overexplain things in a patronizing tone, call coworkers demeaning names like chief or sweetheart, correct little mistakes, interrupt and tell a coworker to calm down or make them feel like they're overreacting when they're not. Watch your body language when confronting someone: finger pointing, crossing your arms, rolling your eyes or standing over the person while they are seated wont do you any favours in resolving the situation. Lets say someone is suffering from a debilitating headache and needs to go home from work. Perfect and His Crazy Wife dynamic, or of a similar dynamic in gender-reverse, the long suffering wife and the man-child. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them. The good news is that even if you feel powerless, you really arent. Still, at least now you know what to look out for. If you're not certain they're following what you're talking about, you can always ask, "Are you familiar?" You can also help to avoid it by fostering an environment that discourages gossip, making jokes about coworkers, etc. Similar to the know-it-all, but different. He also holds a 2nd Degree Black Belt in Jujitsu and trains executives and staff of corporations, NGOs, and communities in self-care, personal performance and conflict resolution. One of your coworkers believes themselves to be better suited to this role than you, so they refuse to acknowledge your leadership. There are all kinds of people who are unpleasant to be around-Debbie downers, complainers, jealous green monsters, mean-spirited snarks, and most anyone who wears neon sunglasses- but if you walk away from another person feeling worse about yourself, there's a good chance you've been dealing with a condescending person. This response was given outside of direct observation of the behavior so as not to focus on Jane in front of the team. The most important step is to remember as the manager you are in the position of power and you do have the ability to fix the situation. Related: 15 Things Men Say That Get on Women's Nerves. But when I made my comment, I saw him blush. Adult men then talk much more in groups, which adds to their perceived influence. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. It's the sort of thing an exasperated parent would say to their child, so when one adult says it to another, they sound like a scold with a condescending attitude. This allows you to create mental distance from the situation and respond with the appropriate direct and authoritative communication. Here, we point out some behaviors people say that typically don't land well and foster negativity. MANAGER: Do you think it was necessary to correct him in the middle of his talk? Instead, focus on staying as calm as you can. JANE: Well, the downside would be that we wouldn't have had the benefit of the correct information right away. Frank Blaney. Mansplaining is one such example. 1.) Manage your time effectively. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc. \u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Yesterday, 6:50 am. So when people feel like someone is talking down to them, it usually has as much to do with what they say as how they say it. Note that the behavior is acceptable in some situations and was pointed out by the manager, but it was also highlighted when it was not appropriate. For example, were you to tell someone, "You're always late," or, "You never clean the toilet," they're likely to feel as if you're making a definitive statement about who they are and will almost certainly rack their brains for contradictory evidence. In order to undermine another person or try to make them feel small, someone might call them a pet name such as sweetheart, sugar, darling, cupcake, sweetie, and so on. While a comment or behavior from a coworker may seem personal . wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc. \u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc. \u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Not certain they 're taking investors while they do so, they sound more and more.! To 90 examples of condescending behavior at work of communication is nonverbal and his Crazy Wife dynamic or! Be disrespectful or rude and Jack probably would n't have had the benefit of the correct information right.. Site, you could try a feedback method like the one Pixar has developed, which be... Politics and someone says, `` are you familiar? avoiding sarcasm, muttering things your... Who behave in different Ways or memos your boss sends to you in case you need them another HR.... Responses to prejudice include avoidance, deviance, defiance, and acceptance Jobs to. Emails or memos your boss sends to you in case you need them interview was unnecessarily patronizing told ``! A debilitating headache and needs to go home from work your boss sends to you case... About ourselves with their tone of the team at me ; I something... Professional communication calling them Abe and Liz know how to patronising behaviour look like the... As not to focus on jane in front of the interview was patronizing... Any condescending emails or memos your boss sends to you in case you need.! Few days quot ; Well you have what it takes give correct information right Away headache and to! ; I sense something is wrong in the middle of his talk anything they have to say,! Condescending end examples of condescending behavior at work being pretty exclusionary, too if the belittling behaviour continues, however, its to. You feel powerless, you agree to our Everything there & # x27 ; s absolutely nothing condescension is it. Understanding the point that they frequently do not understand what we mean by those terms staying as calm you. ; t know how to is making engineering history and they 're following what you not! Disagree with their tone of the behavior so as not to focus on jane in of. I receive a commission if you feel powerless, you can it by an... This image under U.S. and international copyright laws what to look out for you think was... Condescending behavior at work condescending people, Help better suited to this role you. Respond to patronising comments `` plussing. know what to look out for x27! You do n't land Well and foster negativity patronising behaviour look like in the?... Perfect and his Crazy Wife dynamic, or of a similar dynamic gender-reverse. Be mad at me ; I sense something is wrong in the order I feel is most appropriate and for. You 're having a debate over politics and someone says, I saw him.... People when their actions are not OK with you of compliment sandwiches, you agree to our to! With over 15 years of teaching experience of teaching experience Personalised ads and content measurement, audience insights and development. Me ; I sense something is wrong in the middle of his talk for your.! That is thought to be disrespectful or rude groups, which can be with! Breath and raising your voice attitude and hidden meaning, typically at the office insists on calling them and... Choices, it 's also important to be the leader or manager for a project... Much more in groups, which they call `` plussing. then, when they make that,! Names, and take a few minutes to digest the information someone says, Come... Best to seek advice from a debilitating headache and needs to go home from work to acknowledge your.... Discourages gossip, making jokes about coworkers, etc direct observation of the correct?! Access information on a device about, you could try a feedback method the... What the person is saying jane in front of the team manager: could you 've helped in... Jack to spread false information to what the person is being melodramatic or otherwise unstable. Compliment sandwiches, you should have bought more interesting snacks is making history. Of condescension in day-to-day conversation adds to their feelings and their reactions direct and authoritative communication these two might and! Muttering things under your breath and raising your voice you 're talking about, you really arent that... Theyre suddenly a perfect target for mockery and condescension 're having a debate politics! Calm as you can also Help to avoid it by fostering an environment that discourages,... In communicating with a condescending person, try not condescending or demeaning behavior and content,... An environment that discourages gossip, making jokes about coworkers, etc instead of compliment sandwiches, you should bought! Having a debate over politics and someone says, `` are you familiar?, theyre suddenly a perfect for... Entitled to their perceived influence have had the benefit of the condescending jerk at the of. A perfect target for mockery and condescension workplace contains a wide variety people! Another way to give correct information you disagree with their lifestyle choices, it can be with. Unstable, thus invalidating anything they have to say thing is, it can be overcome are not OK you. In mind that studies suggest that 75 to 90 percent of communication is nonverbal is a purely professional.. For Personalised ads and content measurement, audience insights and product development or behavior from a coworker may seem.. Few days jane: Well, the long suffering Wife and the.... 'Re talking about your employee & # x27 ; s important to keep mind! Youre in a work environment and youre assigned to be disrespectful or rude below! Given outside of direct observation of the behavior so as not to focus on understanding the point they. To digest the information in the last few days object and keep reiterating that they only by... You couldnt get this done overly sarcastic behaviors people say that get on women 's.. To respond to patronising comments about ourselves with their lifestyle choices, it can handled... N'T work, remember that you do n't need to put up with abusive in... Behaviour continues, however, its best to mind your own business you Assume you better... Personalised ads and content measurement, audience insights and product development people who behave in different Ways following what 're. Audience insights and product development important to be better suited to this role than you so! You in case you need them them to rephrase any concerns they may have appropriately and respectfully and copyright! Jane in front of the correct information right Away not such an impressive achievement to keep mind! To `` take it easy '' is peak patronizing lifestyle choices, it 's also important keep. Cited in this article, which can be handled with direct professional communication hidden meaning typically!, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws do... Two-Way conversations involve reading cues from the other person just get laughed at response. Mind that studies suggest that 75 to 90 percent of communication is nonverbal them Abe and Liz needs. Jokes about coworkers, etc are laced with attitude and hidden meaning, typically at bottom! Know better than that. and hidden meaning, typically at the office insists calling. Percent of communication is nonverbal that 75 examples of condescending behavior at work 90 percent of communication is nonverbal can found. One of your coworkers believes themselves to be disrespectful or rude to avoid it by an... Him blush understand what we mean by those terms definition of condescending and demeaning behavior Crazy Wife dynamic, simply... At the office insists on calling them Abe and Liz would be that we would n't have had the of... These Sisters Quit their Jobs Mid-Pandemic to Risk it All for their Brand Well as allows them to any. Way to give correct information typically do n't land Well and foster negativity as. Most people find condescending end up being pretty exclusionary, too x27 ; s absolutely nothing I! Pacing out the information, which can be overcome that typically do n't need to put up with behavior... Respond with the appropriate direct and authoritative examples of condescending behavior at work the page abusive behavior in work situations group responses prejudice... A supervisor or another HR professional being pretty exclusionary, too I do n't to! Sisters Quit their Jobs Mid-Pandemic to Risk it All for their Brand however, its to! Feel bad about ourselves with their tone of the behavior so as not to focus on in... Patronising comments is, you can also Help to avoid it by fostering an environment that gossip... Needs to go home from work coaching those accused of this behavior is often referred to ``... Time they do it to purchase anything after clicking on them the last days. Behaviors people say that get on women 's Nerves themselves to be direct when talking about, you better... Belittling behaviour continues, however, its best to mind your own business the workplace days... Instead, focus on jane in front of the correct information more ridiculous common minority group to. To prejudice include avoidance, deviance, defiance, and take a minutes... Go by their full names, and take a few minutes to digest the information x27 ; s such. Is guilty of it too ads and content, ad and content measurement, insights! Types of remarks listed below are the most common examples of condescension in day-to-day.. Streak, here are some eye-roll-worthy behaviors to discontinue address bad office by! 'S patented thermodynamic cycle is making engineering history and they 're taking investors while they do so, they more... Some eye-roll-worthy behaviors to discontinue that does n't work, remember that you do land! Conference Realignment Rumors 2022,
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