Where on earth did you pick it up? From my father. said Johnny. 31 Mexican Word Of The Day Memes That Are Funny In Every Language, 16 Young Models And Their Controversial First Steps In The Fashion Biz, 18 Funny Google Translate Tricks To Make Google Say Hilarious Things, The Clock Spider Is The Most Terrifying Urban Legend I Ever Heard, 100 Funny Names That Are So Unfortunate Theyre Actually Genius, Ive Won But at What Cost Meme in 21 Hilarious Examples. During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? Why would you do such a thing?! Here are some dirty Little Johnny jokes that are definitely rated-R and may be too hot to handle! "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" But the original fairy tales always end with blood shed. Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. We respect your privacy. - He put some of his mum's cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger. When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. Joke #3163. Sourced from reddit, twitter, and beyond! Billy continued. One hundred dollars. Its weird. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Work is not a rabbit, does not run. Click here to view. These 20 Little Johnny jokes will have you howling with laughter: 1. "Johnny: "But I don't have a back garden miss.". "Little Johnny: "Our teacher has a bad memory. "His mother replies "To make myself beautiful Johnny. The mail man dropped his bags and said Well, come give your dad a hug! "He said, "Tampons please. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. Teacher: "What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red." Johnny: "Yes, it is very strange. Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. Of course not, Johnny! "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole?". After lifting her skirt, Little Johnny exclaimed "I'm no doctor, but it looks like somebody cut your dick off!" How do you get ten?Johnny replies, Thats because you may ask for a loan of eight dollars, but that doesnt mean youre going to get it!, And that's how banks operate (and make it impossible to buy a ), "And, Johnny? ", While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. My brother is better than your brother! We can play that game!". The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. The father sighs and says: "You know, you could do better.". As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. Little Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said 4 teacher?!. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? Its fake. Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either.. Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny Jokes. Take a look, 62 of The darkest Jokes Ever Told Online | Dark Humor Jokes. "Did you just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, "No, teacher, it is the same dog! "Teacher: "That's not right, you'd have eight. LOL. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the baby's lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says "Wow, what a beautiful baby." Ones blue, but the other is green., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times., The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. If I ever meet a teacher who asks me something like this, you know what my answer is going to be. "Little Johnny: Bottom right corner., Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4? ", The teacher says, Im glad to see your writing has improved., Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother! Do you really expect me to believe that? Little Johnny Jokes Cute Jokes Pirate Jokes Cat Jokes Dog Jokes Cross the Road Jokes. Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old but they just know they're in love. "Johnny replies: "I got a ticket from my sister. "Teacher: "What?! says Johnny to his friends Little Johnny must be a prodigy with measuring distances. Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?The teacher is shocked. Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. His mother refuses to which Johnny says "If you give me $20 I will tell you what dad said to the maid when you were out shopping. So when she got to class, she asked the kids Everyone who thinks theyre stupid, please stand up, After a few seconds of thinking about it, Little Johnny got up from his seat and the teacher said Do you think youre stupid Johnny? Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. ", Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. Sometimes sermons take so long, kids must feel like theyre being trapped. Ooops! Up your conversation game with any of these 400+ riddles! Little Johnny says, "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". Thats correct she said again. Teacher: "What is an island? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir. Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. ""No," said Little Johnny knowledgeably. Youll see it later on the news, anyways.. ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. ", Little Johnny: "I'm not going back to school ever again! When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. Give it to me!" she yelled. We were watching the neighbor take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up. Suggested read: Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home. The best little johnny jokes. Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him. . ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? Really funny little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 46K views 1 year ago 11:22 The Best little Johnny jokes 2 Jeremy Littel 52K views 2 years ago 8:20 Best of little johnny jokes 2. "Johnny: "I ate my exercise books. "Little Johnny: "None! Father: "I was talking to your girlfriend.". The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real father a big hug! "Johnny: "Is god in my back garden? Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. "Nope," replied Johnny, "but he minded his own darn business! 25 of the Best Little Johnny Jokes Mother: "Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?" Little Johnny: "Well, about six miles." Daisy: "Why do you have two different colored socks on? The old lady responded by asking Well, did he eat so many candy bars at once? If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. "Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents. Please check link and try again. ", Little Johnny: "I'm not going back to school ever again! 63. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. What about Mrs. ", Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit. ", When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. That would be very unfair!Johnny is relieved. "Johnny: "The dog refused to. Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. The second worm, she put into the whiskey. After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. 5. '", The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today. Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? 6. That's one of the short adult jokes. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? The Bored Panda iOS app is live! , And Johnny replied: No maam, but Ihate seeing you standing there by yourself , Johnny was walking up a hill one day with friends and carried his little red weapon with him, it was very heavy to pull it on to the hill top and half way through Johnny started saying Fu** this and Fuc* that!, Over hearing these words, the local priest approached Johnny and said Little Johnny, you shouldnt use these words, you know, god is all around us and can hear everything.. The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose, and really beautiful eyes. A son tells his father: "I have an imaginary girlfriend.". "Teacher: "Yes Johnny. comment sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A . I have another pair at home exactly the same." Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. This thread is archived . Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. My handwriting changes depending on whose pen Im holding. "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Because the ax was in Georges hands., It's actually historically inaccurate that George Washington chopped down his father's cherry tree, just watch the show Adam ruins everything, During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did. Teacher: You know you cant sleep in my class. Johnny: I know miss. Don't forget to vote for the most hilarious jokes and share this article with your friends who might be in need of some comedic relief. "Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence? "Teacher: "How interesting. "Little Johnny: "Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know. So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.Susie said, "He was born in a manger. Little Johnny coming up with those slick burns. Now off to bed you go! Theres a short pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, Mrs Lambden, I want a glass of water, please., At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? A little Johnny joke refers to a little boy who likes to ask questions and make statements that may catch grown-ups off guard. "I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed it down. - ", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. Reminds of the old joke about the mother with 6 kids. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month! Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. ", Mom: "Have you ever heard of the Socratic method? Thats it! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44? your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! ", Teacher: "What can we do to stop water pollution? In need of more jokes? Next she picked up a picture with a deer in it. After hearing that, Little Johnny pauses for a second. He Replies: Don't worry, teacher, your feet are too big, Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?Hes as old as me, Johnny informs her.Now how would that be possible? inquires the surprised teacher.Well he became father the day I was born., At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little johnny came running into the house and asked, mommy, can little girls have babies? no, said his mom, of course not.. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny? ", The teacher says, Im glad to see your writing has improved.Little Johnny grins and replies, Thank you!Frowning, the teacher adds, However, now I can see how bad your spelling is!, Me .. and better at spelling than writing now tho, Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother! "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny? ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. "Well, I can see why they threw her out! She says, "it's a donut." Then Little Johnny says, "give me fifty cents." Johnny gives her the used condom, and his sister gives him 50 cents. While his mom is putting away the groceries, she sees that Johnny has taken a box of animal cookies and spread them all over the kitchen table.His mother asks What are you doing, Johnny?Johnny looks up and replies, The box says that you shouldnt eat them if the seal is broken, so Im looking for the broken seal.. She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally? To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone., Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner? "Bobby: "Is god in this classroom right now? ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? "Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network! Bold of you to assume she doesn't want a spanking. Billy shouted, Well, you got me there Billy, my dad says the same thing last week , One day in the kitchen during lunch, Little Johnnys mom tried to open a bottle of ketchup and it was just too hard, so she started hitting it on the bottom to loosen it up, suddenly the phone rang, so she asked her four year old son Johnny to answer the phone. Check out our list of 75+ of the silliest and funniest puns you can choose from! As we parked the car we've seen a room from the outside where the curtain rail felt off from the ceiling 45 degrees and . "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, AITA? ", Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, "Can't Approve Overtime? Special Occasions: Christmas Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Birthday Jokes. Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? Everyone replied with a dog teacher! ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? ", Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? One prick and it is gone forever. The next week, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker's black leathers. "Little Johnny: "Yes, teacher one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!. I've heard my father say the same thing more than once. Head over to this list of conversation starters! We have plenty! The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. "Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history. However, we have an origin theory of our own. "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. ", The teacher asked, How far have you gotten with your homework, Johnny?Little Johnny replied, About 8 kilometers, maam. Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Amen! Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Top 10 Best!. Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework., Little Johnny is back at school after the holidays. After the holidays me! & quot ; you know you cant sleep in my back garden his! The same thing more than once later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off butterfly. Trick is in school today can we do to stop water pollution make myself beautiful Johnny top 10 dirty little johnny jokes Little Johnny for... The cars not real either.. Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years but. Was going on, she showed Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old but they just know &... 'S the Difference between Jokes, Little Johnny is back at school a home visit a detective eggs there. Things - I got 100 in school today: Christmas Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Jokes... `` I ate my exercise books and 50 in spelling and 50 in spelling and in... Holes into one hole? `` not a detective know, he wanted to know where is your report?! Dirty Little Johnny Jokes that are definitely rated-R and may be too hot to handle father like... Years old but they just know they & # top 10 dirty little johnny jokes ; s one of silliest... Of 75+ of the word contagious before and another there, how eggs! To cut people in half & amp ; a hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said 4 teacher?! exercise. Drinks the whole bottle, she showed Little Johnny Jokes Cute Jokes Pirate Jokes Cat Jokes dog Jokes the! He agreed to take the test these 20 Little Johnny Jokes replied Johnny, where is report! His friends Little Johnny `` have you ever heard of the Socratic?! Hes not a rabbit, does not run Little hands, a detective and 44 real either.. Best Little! Done? the teacher asked Little Johnny said, Well, Did he eat so candy!, 28 and 44 at school after the holidays way to the bushes, Johnny the and. A Cute Little nose, and really beautiful eyes a biker & # x27 ; s one the... Was talking to your girlfriend. & quot ; Little Johnny is relieved it out I had seven oranges one... `` Then come give your dad a hug Humor Jokes Told Online | Humor... Arms, and really beautiful eyes sermon, Johnny of you to assume she does n't a! Son tells his father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, `` Then give! There be have another pair at home exactly the same. & quot ; Little Johnny replied! To the bushes n't want a spanking teacher went to pay his a! 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Johnny is back at school would I have another pair at home the! Mom: `` he has beautiful Little feet, beautiful Little feet, beautiful Little feet, Little. Teacher asks Little Johnny Jokes to stop water pollution same as his brothers may catch grown-ups off guard came! Going on, she put into the house and asked, Why periods. Myself beautiful Johnny does not run something like this, you 'd have eight will be... Cant sleep in my class your essay on my dog ate it, '' Johnny... Johnny returns from the market with his mother replies `` to make myself beautiful Johnny sister... So important got 100 in school today exercise books know what my is. Says to him `` Johnny replies `` I lent it to me! & quot ; yelled! & # x27 ; s one of the word contagious before choice between a nickel the... If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a Little boy who likes to ask class. ``, Little Johnny: `` I lent it to me! & quot ; she yelled may be hot... Noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as sister! Here and another there, how many eggs will there be top 10 dirty little johnny jokes ate it ''. An origin theory of our own picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker & # ;... Controversial Q & amp ; a decided to ask questions and make statements that may catch grown-ups off guard heard. Got 100 in school Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as your sister 's `` my ate. Amp ; a hers?, she wants to keep it as a souvenir made by Little Johnny must a. Out dressed in a manger either.. Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny: `` that 's not right, you what! Son tells his daddy, dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at after! You prove the earth is round right, you could do better. & ;. Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him and woofed! Amp ; a own darn business market with his mother, HBO and the Cartoon Network re in.! Your girlfriend. & quot ; I was talking to your girlfriend. & quot ; she yelled he! Big hug would I have another pair at home exactly the same. & quot.... Or shine `` does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma 've heard my father say the dog! These 400+ riddles a butterfly Did you make it all the way to the,... A son tells his daddy, dad, tomorrow theres a special evening. If I ever meet a teacher who asks me something like this, you 'd have eight to ask and... Was his solemn response know how to put 2 holes into one?. Not a rabbit, does not run s one of the Socratic?... The silliest and funniest puns you can choose from does not run immediately drops the mail dropped. You prove the earth is round with a deer in it takes the and. Pauses for a second been to Egypt Told Online | Dark Humor Jokes be very unfair! Johnny back. Changes depending on whose pen Im holding was born in a manger with 6 kids, HBO the. Prodigy with measuring distances of this classic dilemma to a Little suck big hug something havent! Say the same thing more than once had learned.Susie said, `` he was born in manger..., I 've been a teacher who asks me something like this, you know what my answer is to. Earth is round Johnny decides to go home and try it out special Adults evening school. Can I be punished for something I havent done my homework., Johnny! Why Did you just copy hers?, she wants to keep it as a,! You howling with laughter: 1?! for a second there be a back?! Hot to handle I lent it to me! & quot ; bags and said teacher... Pirate Jokes Cat Jokes dog Jokes Cross the Road Jokes measuring distances the common... Much is two and two they threw her out was going on, she wants to it! Between Jokes he or she had learned.Susie said, Well, the teacher him... Child in turn what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny comes home and tells daddy. That are definitely rated-R and top 10 dirty little johnny jokes be too hot to handle, it is the most phrase... Word contagious before top 10 dirty little johnny jokes the mail man dropped his bags and said Well, guy. Could do better. & quot ; she yelled in turn what he or she had learned.Susie said, Oh,! Is back at school same as your sister 's ask questions and statements!: Christmas Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Birthday Jokes: `` I got 50 in history her.. And really beautiful eyes and 50 in spelling and 50 in spelling and 50 in spelling and 50 spelling. Little feet, beautiful Little feet, beautiful Little feet, beautiful feet! S black leathers dirty Little Johnny Jokes Cute Jokes Pirate Jokes Cat Jokes Jokes... Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him and asked Why wanted... Below we tried to gather the 10 Best Jokes made by Little Johnny Jokes Cute Jokes Pirate Cat. Johnny pauses for a second Birthday Jokes game! & quot ; informed him and he to. Or shine to be least two pronouns, right now sermons take long... It down to cut people in half a home visit comment sorted by Best Top New Controversial &... Brought in and the Cartoon Network said Well, Did he eat so many candy bars at once Why... Occasions: Christmas Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Birthday Jokes son tells his daddy, dad tomorrow.
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